Slow Walker Syndrome

I’ll admit that this problem is more based on High School dilemma than here at the college level, however the issue still applies. Slow f*cking walkers. I can’t say I truly understand the premise behind this conundrum, but I do see some possible reasons for engaging in said syndrome. Looks are a big part of today’s society from what we wear, to how we style our hair, to the specific way we present ourselves to others visually. Honestly, it’s a tragedy that society these days processes friendships and attraction this way. This being said, perhaps walking slowly to class or to wherever one is headed might be an indication of social stature, or self-conscious awareness of how “cool” someone looks. Could it be possible that these people simply don’t understand the idea of common courtesy? A sidewalk or a hallway is only as wide as you make it. If you’re in deep conversation with a friend, that doesn’t give you the right to take up half the hallway, moving at record speed for a snail. If you’re busy texting and unaware of the human beings around you, that doesn’t mean you can stand in the middle of the sidewalk to finish a message that could have been typed in the grass. Or in the middle of the road… We’ve all dealt with this situation in our own ways. What typically follows are subtweets, verbal bashing to friends, and hell sometimes people get physical! I just have one thing to say to these lowlife scum of the universe. To all those who exhibit Slow Walker Syndrome, just know that no matter where you are, what you’re wearing, or how cool you look, if you don’t pick up the pace, I WILL MOW YOU DOWN.

Each day is a new sandwich...